I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The air taste purple.
Randomize
