i was born a porn star she said
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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