Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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