so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
