Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I skipped work to stalk him.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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