you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
