I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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