summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
