haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
