well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
