You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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