We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
