i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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