you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
