they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
