I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
