look no pants
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
