she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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