oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
