oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Couch. On fire.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
