we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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