Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
