it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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