Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
