So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
