What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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