We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
