Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
