the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
