I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
