the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
