"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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