its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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