I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
