Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
