i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
