I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
