I need help removing her.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
