i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
