Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
