Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
