I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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