just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
