the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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