So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
