like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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