The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
