If that was your dad, he is hot
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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