i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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