I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
