i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
